Sacred abundance symbol
How to forgive

Forgiveness is automatic (once you understand what’s really going on…)


a) The old interpretation of forgiveness:

“YOU did something bad and mean. YOU’RE bad and mean. But I am better than you so I shall forgive you to prove that I am better.”

b) The new interpretation of forgiveness:

“I attract all situations towards me, from the beliefs I hold. Some of my beliefs are conscious, but others are hidden in the depths of my mind and are subconscious. If I believe that I am worthless and a failure subconsciously, I will attract situations to prove this is true. As soon as I shift my beliefs, the situations I attract will reflect the shift.

“You APPEAR to have done something bad and mean to me. But I know I have attracted this situation towards me, because I carry a belief that matches the feelings that this bad situation has brought up. Once I realise this situation is actually helping me to identify a subconscious belief that isn’t serving me, I see it for what it really is. A potential healing opportunity. An opportunity to release a belief that I don’t ruddy well want. When I see the situation like this, a shift occurs automatically.”

How to get from A to B

What are you forgiving?

First up, state your victim story. Go into all the gory details about how wrong it all is, how unfair, what a bunch of idiots they all are and did you notice they actually smell? Yeah…


Has this situation happened before? Maybe it was different people, different places, but have you felt this before? Maybe someone has been selfish and done something careless to you… maybe you’ve been cheated on by more than one partner… maybe you lost your job for a second time… How many times have you found yourself complaining about this feeling that you’re experiencing because of this bloody situation? The more times this situation has happened, the chances are pretty high that it will happen again, unless you have a look under the dusty mind blanket at your beliefs.

What’s behind the story?

What we need to identify now, is how the situation or person you want to forgive, is making you feel. What you are feeling is the key. This is how we can trace it back to the original belief that attracted the situation in the first place. Jot down some ideas about how you feel. Unloved, not good enough, worthless, failure, invisible, etc.

Realising the point of your situation

Now we’re getting to the interesting part. Set the current situation aside for one minute (yay!), and look at the feelings you jotted down. Assign them to another person – anyone – let’s say Miss Gina. In the example below, Miss Gina feels lonely, unloved and not good enough. What beliefs would you say Miss Gina is carrying? Could it be…

“I am all alone”

“No one loves me or can ever love me”

“Why would anyone love me anyway? I’m not good enough”

Where these beliefs came from is not wholly relevant (there are different ideas about this – look into Radical Forgiveness, Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Past Lives for some different opinions). The point is, they’re there and they need to be replaced if you want your situation to change. I recommend using EFT, Hypnosis and NLP to shift old beliefs in a matter of days, hours and even minutes in some cases.

Life’s a school

The point of life is to use the situations we face every day to bring us back to love, peace and true happiness. If we use every situation we face as a tool to propel us back to Love, how marvellously fast and effortless our journey will be! If you’ve read about Quantum Physics, you’ll know that science has evolved so far as to prove that things change depending on your beliefs. I could look at Miss Gina, believing that she is beautiful, rich and happy and situations will be presented to me that support my beliefs. You, on the other hand, might think Miss Gina isn’t happy, beautiful or rich, so you would be shown situations that support your belief. Your beliefs about yourself have the exact same effect. Truly believe you are beautiful, abundant, safe, happy and loved and you will be.

Automatic forgiveness

When you observe situations from this higher perspective, forgiveness is automatic. You no longer blame another person or experience, as you realise you’ve attracted it on a spiritual level, to grow and learn. The other people or things involved simply played their part and experienced things they needed to learn. We live in a world of illusions, forever changing shape depending on what we believe. If you don’t like something you’re experiencing/seeing, look at the feeling it gives you, trace it back to the belief and change the belief. What a gift! What a gift this horrible situation has given you!

Use it on anything

The cool thing about this way of forgiveness, is you can use it on anything that annoys you. It’s not limited to forgiving that person in the office, or that ex boyfriend. You can use it on a neighbours annoying habit, a lack of financial freedom, the pigeon that keeps coming into your living room… When you release the belief that makes you annoyed about these things, the annoying situation will either completely disappear, or it just won’t annoy you anymore. Try it!!! It rocks my world.

Remember, beloved souls, life’s a school and forgiveness is one of its lessons. Learn the rules, play the game, cross the finish line! The prize is LOVE and PEACE and HAPPINESS and you’ll be pleased to know there’s enough for everyone to go around… the ultimate goal is for everyone to cross the finish line 

Forgiveness Resources

Colin Tipping – Radical Forgiveness

This is my absolute favourite book for forgiveness. The worksheet at the back helps me time and time again with stuff I struggle to forgive. It helps you cut the shit, get to the truth and frees you from the situation nicely. Colin Tipping coined the phrase ‘Radical Forgiveness’ and it’s become one of my fundamental spiritual practices. The link above takes you to Colin’s website, which features heaps of other stuff he does, all forgiveness-focused.

Frances Verbeek, founder of The Happi Empire
Hello lovely soul, I’m Fran!

Founder, designer & mentor

As a spiritual student, I started The Happi Empire to help others find happiness and fulfilment in their lives. I design creative tools to help you process life and align with the light.


Need guidance to nuture a lighter mind? Join The Happi Empire.